FMAB Oneshots
by curligurl0896
Summary: Just a bunch of ideas I had for short pieces, all relating to the FMA universe. Ch 7:"Ed flopped himself on the all-too familiar couch in Mustang's office, waiting as patiently as someone who normally had no patience to begin with possibly could for his superior to get off the damn phone already."
1. Middle of the night

**So, a friend recommended FMA to me, and of course I started watching it, and now I'm kind of obsessed with it. I am definitely into it enough to have already gotten fanfic ideas, though mostly oneshots, which I will be posting whenever I can. So yeah, this is my first fanfic,and this is all based on the events in Brotherhood (because that was the version I have been watching). Anyway, dear readers, please tell me what you think, and if there's anyone willing to discuss the anime with me, please PM me (I haven't been able to discuss it with the friend that recommended it to me, and I kind of want to get my feels out).**

* * *

She knew she probably should have expected to see what she was seeing now—it was the middle of the night, after all—but that didn't stop Winry from staring.

She had only stepped out for a moment, after waking up and finding herself with an urgent need to use the restroom, and when she came back, she couldn't help but notice Ed's sleeping form on the bed next to hers, his face half-buried in his pillow, mouth slightly open, automail arm hanging over the side. He must have been too tired to really get ready for bed, because he'd only taken off his coat and gloves. His hair was still in the thick braid he always wore, now bleached almost white by the silvery moonlight.

Winry didn't know why this held her attention—she'd seen him sleeping plenty of times before, when the Elric brothers had been living with her and her grandmother in that period of time after they had been left motherless.

Yet there _was_ something different about watching the boy she'd grown up with sleeping now, and she was pretty sure it had to do with the both of them being older as well as the feelings that were stirring inside her now, which she still couldn't quite fully admit to herself, let alone out loud. It might have also had to do with the fact that he looked so different asleep than how he looked awake, when he had the burden of a reputation as well as concerns about how he and his brother would reverse the damage that had been done as a result of trying to do the one thing alchemy couldn't do. Right now, though, all that seemed to have disappeared, replaced by a peaceful look on his face that made him almost unrecognizable. It made him look young and almost vulnerable, and smaller, somehow.

Winry almost laughed at the thought of Ed's reaction if he'd known what she was thinking just then. It was almost comical, the way he always got so defensive about his height, as if being short was somehow a bad thing. In his mind, it probably was. Sometimes she joked about it just to see his reaction, unable to help herself; she found it kind of adorable, though she never admitted it aloud, knowing he'd probably only be further insulted if she did.

After about a minute, she decided to try and go back to sleep, though she wasn't sure she would be able to, at least not right away. As she lay back, her head accidentally hit something, and a curse slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself. She froze, hoping she hadn't unintentionally woken him up, but it was too late. She heard him shifting on his bed and turned just in time to see one golden eye crack open, watching her.

"Winry?" Ed asked sleepily.

She could feel her face heating up, and could only imagine how red her face was right now. "It's nothing," she insisted. "Just bumped my head, is all."

He sat up and stretched, yawning as he did so. After several moments of doing so (in a way that was so languid, yet at the same time ostentacious, that it made Winry wonder if he was doing it on purpose), he said, "Well, don't give yourself brain damage. I mean, what am I supposed to do when my automail breaks and you can't fix it because your brain's all messed up?"

Winry was indignant. "Well, you wouldn't have to worry about that if you didn't keep breaking your automail in the first place," she snapped, falling into what was familiar territory for the both of them. "Seriously, I can't help but wonder if you're doing it on purpose just to annoy me, or if you're seriously that stupid and reckless that you don't know how to not damage them. Just _once_ would I like you to show up for some other reason besides your automail being broken."

Ed snorted. "Well, what else would I come visit for? Your brilliant personality? I mean, I am pretty busy these days. I've got places to go, people to see—it's not like I have enough time for something like that."

"Well, it's nice to know how little you miss us," she said sarcastically. "And, anyway, there's better things that I could be doing with you than just fixing your automail."

That shut him up, though it took Winry a moment (as well as seeing the look of embarrassment on his face) to realize why. When she did, her face flushed again, and she wished more than anything else at that moment that those words hadn't come out of her mouth. Or, at least, that Ed didn't take it the wrong way, but it was obviously too late for that.

"Better things that you could be doing with me?" he repeated slowly. If there was any doubt where his mind went with those words, then there wasn't anymore, not with the tone of voice he'd used.

"Just shut up," she told him, still thinking about it.

The silence stretched between them, and, if anything, it made things just that much worse. Winry idly wondered where Al was, and then immediately felt grateful that it wasn't here. She wasn't entirely sure what Al did with his nights: being in his current state, he didn't sleep at all, so he obviously had to occupy his time somehow. She was just glad that he wasn't here at that moment—he had somehow kept the sense of innocence that his older brother had lost years ago, and what had just come up was anything but innocent, even though she didn't mean it like that.

As if he knew exactly what she were thinking, he asked, "Hey, where's Al?"

Winry shrugged. "I'm sure he's fine," she replied. "Let's just go back to sleep." But she didn't think she could sleep. Somehow the bantering that they had energized her, and judging by the fact that he was still sitting up in bed, making absolutely no move to lay down and go back to sleep, Ed wasn't tired anymore, either. After a few moments she sighed, and rolled back out of bed. "You know what? I'll see if I could go get us a snack."

"Just so long as you don't make me drink milk or something," Ed called out to her as she headed to the door, as if she didn't already know that after all these years. That made her smile, and a witty reply came to mind, one that she couldn't resist using, especially since it had always proven to get a rise out of him.

"Well, Ed, if you're going to continue to insist on not drinking any milk, then you have only yourself to blame for being so short," she teased him.

Winry could barely contain her laughter as she left him among his own sputtering protests, yet again pissed that someone had pushed his buttons, though she personally couldn't help herself, because it never failed to amuse her.


	2. Ling's Brilliantly Horrible Idea

**Hey, here I am, back with another oneshot!**

 **So, first of all, thanks to my first reviewer. It was a guest review, but it's better than no review at all!**

 **Anyway, in response to this mysterious guest reviewer: In all honesty, I was kind of imagining it happening when they're in central, sometime after they find out about Hughes's death, but before Winry goes back to Rush Valley. But then again, I think he also had his own room at that point, but... well, I guess I shouldn't dwell on that too much, because then it wouldn't work, and then I really couldn't have written it... Lol let's just say it could have happened.**

 **Anyway, this next fic was also too good to pass up, though maybe this is something that is unlikely to happen as well. I mean, I'm not sure how old you have to be in Amestsris to legally drink alcohol, but the idea of a drunk Ed was just too hilarious.**

 **Anyway, here's my next piece:**

* * *

Ling supposed that he should not have let his friend consume that much alcohol, but there was something very amusing about watching Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, getting totally and utterly wasted.

It was an attempt to appease Ed, who was still pretty pissed about the hefty room service bill. Of course, this was also a part of the room service bill—but Ed didn't need to know that right now. Granted, he should have realized that things could have gotten like this, and if his head were clearer, he would have probably done something about it—but Ling was pretty plastered himself, and was currently laughing his ass off as he watched Ed doing a rather hilarious, mocking, and very much drunken impression of Colonel Roy Mustang.

"Hurr hurr hurr! Look at me, I'm the Flame Alchemist, and I think I'm sooo awesome!" Ed was saying, slurring his words more than just a little bit. "But I'm really totally useless most of the time. I'm Colonel-Fucking-Useless!"

Ling snickered, taking another swig as he watched Ed waving around a matchstick while continuing to make fun of Roy, calling him things like "a fucking wet matchstick" and what not. At some point, he must have accidentally lit it, because Ed felt it burn his skin, causing him to let out a yelp of pain and send himself crashing down onto the coffee table, which, of course, led to a full minute of slurred expletives while he attempted to get up.

"Well, that's what you get for playing with fire," Ling chortled, barely able to breathe at this point, he was laughing so hard. "Hasn't anyone told you that little boys shouldn't be doing that?"

"Who the fuck are you calling little?" Ed demanded, his temper flaring up as it always did when someone brought up his height, or rather, lack of it. He staggered drunkenly towards Ling, intending to give the so-called prince of Xing a piece of his mind. "I'll show you little, you thin-eyed jackass!"

But before he could do so, Ed tripped and fell on something, landing flat on his face, something Ling found even more amusing. His guffaws made Ed's head snap up in response, and the Fullmetal Alchemist gave Ling his world-famous death glare.

"S'not funny!" he insisted, pissed in more ways than one. He shook his fist at Ling, saying, "Just you wait! One of these days, I'll make myself… not short! Then you won't be able to call me short anymore!"

"How're you gonna do that?"

"S'called alchemy, dumbass!"

"All the alchemy in the world couldn't make you any taller." Ling picked up the bottle, about to take yet another gulp.

"Take that back! Take it back and shove it up your—HEY! Don't drink all of it! Save me some!" Ed lurched forward, attempting to snatch the bottle from Ling, but Ling just held it away from him, refusing to give it up.

"I'm not done," he said. "And anyway, you don't need any more. You're drunker than I am." Even with his clouded judgment, it was clear that statement was true. Out of all of Ed's talents (which included the ability to fly off the handle faster than anyone Ling had ever met), it was blatantly obvious that holding his liquor simply wasn't one of them.

As he finished the last of the bottle, Ed huffed and folded his arms. "Bastard," he muttered.

"There _is_ more over there." As a matter of fact, there were two full bottles still left. Ed turned around and, upon seeing the two remaining bottles, practically flew over there, opened up one of them and started guzzling its contents.

This time it was Ling who tried to snatch it away, but Ed held it closer to him, looking rather possessive of the bottle. "Mine!" he growled.

"You're mean," Ling whined, but took the second bottle anyway. "You're such a meanie."

"You were the one who didn't wanna share." Ed stuck his tongue out at the Xingese prince, who, in turn, replied, "S'not my fault you can't hold your liquor."

Things only got worse as the night progressed. It was clear that, under the influence of alcohol, Ed had lost all sense of dexterity, as he fell several more times after that—but then again, it might've also been because he was far too shitfaced to really see straight. He was also, of course, the first to pass out from all that alcohol, not even getting halfway through the bottle before he was out like a light. Ling followed soon after, though not before reveling in the fact that he didn't have to share anymore. He really wanted to do something to Ed while he was unconscious—like draw on his face, perhaps—but before he could really come up with something, he passed out as well, succumbing to the liquor several mouthfuls short of finishing off the rest of the alcohol.

* * *

Alphonse had just gotten back to the hotel room that he and his brother had been staying at when it happened.

Al had, just as he had done often after losing his human body and gaining a body that didn't need to eat or rest, gone on a nightly adventure for the sake of amusing himself. He had explored the surrounding area, thinking about anything and everything in order to prevent his mind from going numb with boredom. At one point, he had come across a cat lurking outside its house, and spent a good while petting and playing with the little kitty. He would have taken it with him if he could, but the cat had an owner already, as it turned out, judging by the little tag on its collar.

Anyway, he hadn't expected to come back to what he was coming back to right now, although perhaps he should have expected it, especially considering the way his brother tended to be. So he continued to the hotel room, stopping in his tracks when he heard his brother's voice, so loud that Al could swear it caused an earthquake.

"LING YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

After a moment, Ling's voice replied, "Ugghh, did you have to wake me up? I was sleeping."

"YEAH, AT MY EXPENSE! HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO MOOCH OFF OF ME?! IF YOU'RE SOME FUCKING PRINCE LIKE YOU SAY YOU ARE, THEN DON'T YOU HAVE YOUR OWN DAMN MONEY?!"

"Wait… is this about the alcohol from last night?"

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS!"

"Do you have to yell so loud? I have a headache."

"WELL, I DO TOO, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP! I COULD MAKE YOURS A HELL OF A LOT WORSE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY WANT!"

At that point, Al had enough of listening. He backed away from the door slowly, eying the door as if it were a bomb ready to go off at any second. Which was, in all honesty, fairly accurate. He still wasn't entirely sure what had incurred his brother's wrath this time, but he was sure he didn't want anything to do with it, especially considering the mood that Ed was obviously in. He turned and left, deciding to come later, hoping that his brother would be in a better mood by then.

* * *

 **... I actually made the parts where Ed is yelling three font sizes bigger in addition to putting them in all caps. Too bad it doesn't stay that way for the site...**

 **Anyway, review! Please?**


	3. Babysitting Duty

**Yay! I'm back with another chapter!**

 **Anyway, to my reviewers:**

 **AllINoIsImNotAwesome: Thanks!**

 **Random Dawn 14: I know, right? He is probably used to it by now, having Ed for a brother. And also, I may take you up on the offer still, though I've been otherwise occupied as of late. But I did finally finish watching Brotherhood... OMG The ending..**

 **And without further ado, here's my next oneshot:**

* * *

To say that Envy wasn't too happy with his current situation would've been putting it mildly—after all, not only was he stuck on babysitting duty, but he had to babysit someone who wanted to eat every single fucking second of his damned life.

It was all because that idiot colonel somehow managed to kill Lust, who had usually been the one in charge of Gluttony. Who knew how the hell she managed to put up with him every day. Envy sure as hell had no idea, because it hadn't been that long, and already Gluttony was working his last nerve.

To be perfectly honest, it hadn't been all that bad- for about the first five minutes. Then, of course, the dumb-as-rocks homonculus had started asking about eating people, and all too quickly it became annoying as hell. Envy had thought that it was the most amazing, impressive feat that he h ad been able to hold out this long already, and he wasn't sure he could hold out for much longer. Even now, Gluttony still wouldn't shut up about wanting to eat people, and, in addition to that, had even started eating random objects when it became clear that Envy wasn't going to give him anything.

Perhaps this made Envy seem like the spoiled teenager he often appeared to be, but he didn't care. He had much better things to be doing, such as slaughtering innocent people, starting wars, and making humanity miserable in general- y'know, the kinds of things he usually did, whether he was assigned to it or nor. But no, he had to be stuck with a dumbass who ate everything.

"Can I eat people now?" Gluttony asked for about the millionth time, which caused Envy to massage his skull with his fingertips. He'd never imagined having the rather human sensation of getting a headache- but then again, he didn't exactly anticipate having to be stuck in this situation.

"Not right now, Gluttony," Envy sighed, trying the best he could to not lose his patience. "We have a job to do." Granted, it wasn't like what they were doing was all that engaging- after all, they were currently watching the Fullmetal Pipsqueak and his tin can for a brother, who were (so help him, 'cause he was losing it) studying at a fucking library. It might have been tolerable if there was some sort of action, but there wasn't, and between that and Gluttony's near constant bugging about food, Envy felt his sanity to be quickly going down the drain.

"Please? I wanna eat someone. I can smell people nearby, and they smell so tasty!"

"No, not right now. Just wait a little bit." Damn it, why did he have to be stuck with Gluttony? And why did the Elric brothers have to be doing something so boring now, of all times? Couldn't they do something other than sitting on their asses and reading books?

 _If he asks me to eat one more time..._

"...Can I eat those people now?"

"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!" Envy snapped, losing it. "How many times to I have to fucking tell you to wait? Do you really have to be this damned annoying all the time?"

Gluttony frowned. "You're mean," he said. "Lust was never that mean to me. She was nice."

"Yeah, well, she's dead now, so deal with it."

And, so _help_ him, Gluttony sat down on his fat ass and _cried._ No, not just cried- more like bawled like the big, ugly, voracious baby that he was. In mere seconds, the situation went from bad to worse, and Envy's headache only increased, making him groan. There had to be some way to make him shut up.

"If I let you eat something?" he asked slowly, "will you shut up?"

Gluttony didn't answer, but mercifully, he stopped crying, which seemed to be a good thing. "Fine," Envy huffed, and then proceeded to gouge out a chunk of stone, shape-shifting his hands into deadly tools in order to do so. Briefly, he wondered what the humans would think upon seeing it, but dismissed it immediately after. After all, he didn't owe them an explanation- if anything, it was they who owed him, since he could have easily let Gluttony devour them, and yet he didn't. Let them think whatever the hell they wanted to think.

Envy tossed the resulting rock to Gluttony, who easily caught it in one big, meaty hand- and then proceeded to just look at it. "Rocks aren't as tasty as humans are," he stated.

"Well, I didn't exactly expect you to be picky about it." Translation: _That's the most that you're going to get for now, so don't you dare fucking complain._

Thankfully, Gluttony wasn't so utterly stupid that the meaning behind Envy's words had been totally lost on him, at least to the point where he still complained about it. He shoved the damn rock in his mouth, and Envy turned his attention back to his surveillance. The Elric brothers were still studying, completely unaware of the commotion that had occurred no more than a hundred yards from where they were sitting, and as Envy continued to watch them, he fantasized about all the way s he could make Fullmetal Pipsqueak's life absolutely miserable. Despite the lack of action, he was actually quite content to stay that way, until...

"Those people are leaving. Is it okay if I go eat them now?"

Envy collapsed to the ground, groaning. If this is what he had to look forward to from now on, then he had a long, painful existence ahead of him.

Sometime later, Envy was, thankfully enough, able to rid himself of Gluttony, if only temporarily. It made him feel so much better, not having to deal with that big dumb load. But of course, his luck simply couldn't last that long.

"Envy," a voice called out. He turned around and saw Wrath striding towards him.

"Where's Gluttony?" Envy asked him, noticing he wasn't around. "I thought you were keeping an eye on him."

"Regrettably, we ran into some problems. Apparently there are humans who are searching for immortality. Some Easterner decided to try and capture him for precisely that purpose." Wrath spoke calmly, something that somehow pissed Envy off. "That is all I wanted to say to you."

"Wait, aren't you going to do something about it?" Envy asked as Wrath walked away from him.

"He's your responsibility, isn't he? Plus, I have certain duties to attend to." And with that he left, not even so much as casting a glance in Envy's direction.

Damn him. He had no right to talk to Envy like that, like he was some foolish kid who didn't understand things, not when, despite his physical age, Wrath was technically the youngest of them all.

In addition to that, Envy was stuck having to get Gluttony back- just so he can be stuck with the dumbass and his insatiable appetite. He knew it had to be done, but Envy couldn't help but curse his luck as he left, and hoped that he could make some humans suffer in the process of getting Gluttony back. It would definitely help his mood, after all.

* * *

 **Review! Review and you will not have to owe Envy... Or just review anyway, if only for the sake of making me happy :)**


	4. Thinking of him

**Yay! I have another fic for you guys... and two more reviews!**

 **SoulErrorArwitch: I know, right? When I first had the idea of a fix where Envy is basically babysitting Gluttony, it came with the assumption that Envy wouldn't have much patience for someone who not only has the mentality of, like, a five year old, but also eats...and eats...and eats...and eats...and you basically get the idea.**

 **I'm also glad you like my other pieces, and hope you enjoy this next one as well.**

 **marchellv: Thanks! I certainly try my best :)**

 **Anyway, here's my next fic:**

* * *

Al felt frustrated, confused, still unable to understand as much as he was trying to.

"I still don't get it," he stated dully, hanging his head.

"It isn't that difficult," May tried to reassure him, but to no avail. Al just put his head in his hands and groaned.

"That's easy for you to say," he mumbled. "Eastern Alchemy is what you grew up with. For me, on the other hand, it's like trying to learn another language." He sighed. "If Brother were here, he probably would have figured it out by now."

"He would have, wouldn't he?" Winry asked, speaking up for the first time in a while. She sat in a corner, hugging her knees to her chest, soft blue eyes staring at everything and nothing at the same time.

"I hope he's okay," Al murmured softly, thinking of his brother now. Ed was one of the strongest people he'd ever known, and that was why, Al kept telling himself, he would almost certainly make it—with the intelligence and determination that his brother had, he could get through anything.

"Of course he'll be okay," Winry quickly replied, as if there were no possible way that it couldn't be true. "He has to be." Winry didn't want to think about that not being the case—Ed had, in all the time that she'd known him, become such an important part of her life, and no matter how much distance lay between them, it wasn't nearly enough to quell the feelings stirring deep within her heart. It was too painful to bear, the thought of something bad happening to him, so she refused to consider the possibility.

Just then a voice spoke up, though no one so much as looked in the direction it was coming from. Even in the position that Envy was in right now, reduced to a tiny lizard-thing and stuck in a glass jar, it was clear he was still determined to play mind games with the humans surrounding him in any way he could.

"Are you serious?" he scoffed. "Did you not listen to a word that I said? The pipsqueak was stuck in a mine when it collapsed! It's not likely he's still alive after that! If you humans are really so stupid as to believe that—"

"Shut up! Just shut up already!"

Envy wasn't the only one who was startled by the outburst. Everyone else in the room stared at Winry, who was now breathing heavily, clearly struggling not to cry. She refused to cry now, not when it would mean that Ed couldn't keep his promise to her, especially since it wasn't his fault at all.

"You don't know him," she insisted, hands tightening into fists. "If you think he's going to let something like that stop him, then you don't know him at all."

Surprisingly, Envy did exactly that—in fact, it was silent for a few minutes, because no one was quite sure what to say after that. Eventually Winry stood up, mumbling, "I'll just be outside for a little while," and went outside, picking a spot on the ground to sit before staring out at the expanse of white before her.

It was cold, of course, though perhaps cold was a little bit of an understatement, The icy winds bit into her skin furiously, mercilessly, and within mere minutes she felt frozen to her very core. But that wasn't what was bothering her—in fact, she was far too worried about Ed to pay any real attention to the cold.

 _He'll be okay,_ Winry repeated to herself. _He has to be._

After some time, May came outside and sat down next to her. She didn't say anything right away, and when she did, she asked, "How long have you known them?"

Winry didn't have to ask what she meant. "Pretty much my entire life," she admitted. "I can't remember a time when I didn't know them. We pretty much grew up together."

"Really?" May asked, eyes wide.

Winry nodded. "They were pretty much like brothers to me. And Al still is, honestly. Ed, on the other hand…" she trailed off. She still had no clue at all when exactly their close friendship transformed into something beyond that, something deeper and more intimate than a person felt for someone who was "like a brother" to them. She was only sure of the exact day that she had realized that their relationship wasn't the same, at least not on her side.

"You love him?"

Winry nodded, and May said, "If it weren't for how temperamental he is, I might be able to say the same thing, too."

Winry smiled. Inwardly she felt glad, not wanting any sort of competition. She didn't like the idea of Ed choosing some other girl over her, as selfish as that may have been.

"Well, it's kind of part of who he is. And he wasn't always this bad." She tilted her head back, gazing at the stars above her, starting to come out now that the sun had set. "Though after al he's been through, I suppose he has every right to be mad at the world."

May shrugged. "Well, he is still gorgeous, I'll give you that." Though the Fullmetal Alchemist had been much shorter than she had expected, it was clear that some of the things that May had heard about him weren't exaggerations. Ed really did look like the gods had crafted him out of pure gold—with a perfect eye for detail, of course, leaving almost no room for flaws. If Al looked anything like his brother, then May certainly couldn't wait to see what his body looked like.

Winry, on the other hand, continued to stare up at the sky, still deep in thought. She thought about every last detail of the boy she fell in love with, from the things that made him clearly desirable, such as his brilliant mind, his lean, hard physique, and his kind heart, to the things about him that seemed rather dorky, such as his intense hatred for milk and being called short, and especially his odd tendency to recite the Periodic Table from memory when he was trying to calm himself down (in fact, Winry had overheard him doing just that when she had been hooking up his automail, though she couldn't quite figure out what it was that he was so freaked out about). She thought about the boy she grew up with, who not only endured pain that sent most adults wailing in agony without so much as a peep, but also managed to recover from automail surgery in only a third of the time it normally took to do so, just as he said he would. She thought about the boy who was driven to right the wrongs of his past, who carved the date he burned his house down on the inside of his pocketwatch, who swore to her that the next time he made her cry, it would be from tears of joy.

And it was in that time that she suddenly felt a sense that everything was going to be all right. He was going to be all right, and they would see each other again, no matter what other people might think.

May stood up suddenly, stretching, and said, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm already freezing," she said. She went inside the house, and Winry followed her in, more than ready to deal with whatever came her way, if that's what it took to reunite with the love of her life.

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Review! Reviews make me happy!


	5. Afterglow

**Heyyyyaaaa! Back with another piece of writing from yours truly!**

 **So, for the reviews:**

 **SoulErrorArwitch: I have always been under the impression that was how Winry saw Al, as the little brother-from-another-mother. And as for her and Ed, well... I can't claim to be an expert and love (in fact, my love life is pretty much nonexistent, and all I know about love is what I got out of YA romance novels), but I figured that with a relationship like that, the "oh-now-I'm-totally-in-love-with-you" phase wouldn't be so obviously set apart from the "we're-just-really-close-friends" phase. Yeah, that scene where she's on the train is when she realizes she's fallen for him, but we all know it's been going on longer than that :)**

 **As to the other thing you said... lol, I've never thought of it like that. That makes a whole crapload of people who are more than capable of majorly pissing Envy off and driving him insane. Good thing it's only Gluttony he has to "babysit." If he had to deal with people like us, then he probably would have lost his patience and killed us a long time ago...**

 **Aheli: I am so glad that you enjoyed it, and that you think I do such a good job!**

 **And for this chapter... is another EdWin fic (What can I say? They are officially on my OTP list, so of course I have to write a bunch of fanfiction about them). It is so far the closest I have actually gotten to writing a lemon scene...**

 **Anyway, hope you guys enjoy reading it at least as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

* * *

It was a warm summer night, about midnight, and the two lay together, a comfortable silence settled over them.

It had been about a month since they had married, and they had spent as much time as they could taking advantage of that fact. Ed knew how likely it was that he would have to leave soon—after all, he was still a part of the Amestrian military, even after losing his ability to perform alchemy, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he was called upon to perform his duties. So of course he was determined to make the most of what little time he had with his wife until then.

Wife. Even though he's had an entire month to get used to it, and several months before that to get used to the idea of it in itself, he still couldn't quite believe that not only was he a married man, but also married to the girl he had known since before he even remembered knowing her. Ed always managed to get a thrill every time he referred to Winry as his wife, and, as far as he could tell, she felt pretty much the same way about calling him her husband. Though things weren't exactly perfect—after all, no marriage is without a few bumps in the road every now and then—the month they shared as a married couple was certainly beautiful, time that neither of them were willing to trade for anything else.

Right now they were currently resting, reveling in the afterglow of the act they just committed, an act that was ancient and beautiful, that existed for as long as humanity itself had existed. She was pressed up against his left side, her head and left palm resting on his chest, and he had his arm wrapped around her, his hand curled around the curve of her hip. Neither of them wanted the moment to end just yet—if anything, both wished that this moment in time would stretch out forever, though they also knew that wasn't going to happen.

"Winry?"

"Hmm?" She lifted her head to look at him curiously, and her hand traveled to his right side, stopping when she felt the scars he'd gotten when he'd lost his arm—and stayed there even after he'd gained it back.

"I'm just really glad," he told her, then added, "That I get to be with you, I mean."

"So am I." She put her head back down on his chest, and her fingers traced the scars marring his perfect golden body like cracks in his skin, sealed with hard ridges of flesh that she'd grown so familiar with. Ed shivered under her touch, closing his eyes briefly while enjoying the sensation of her fingers touching him like that. Perhaps some girls would be more bothered by how scarred he was, how much pain and suffering had been etched into his flesh, but Winry had long since accepted it as being a part of him, and knew that all it showed was how strong he really was.

After about a minute, her hand traveled diagonally, down towards the other set of scars on the opposite hip. She stroked those scars, too, as well as ran her thumb along the seam of his thigh, where metal and wire met flesh and bone. Ed had ended up keeping his automail leg, and joked that it was because Winry would miss being able to fix it up, and that she found men with automail attractive, anyway. Though she had to admit he was right—there was something incredibly sexy about a guy with automail—she knew that wasn't the real reason for not getting his original leg back. To him it served as some sort of reminder of the night he and Al had tried to bring back their mother, of the mistake he'd made and spent years trying to fix. Winry also knew that, to Ed, it had never really been about getting his limbs back so much as it had been getting Al's body back—especially considering how much he blamed himself for Al losing his body in the first place.

"You know," Ed started in an almost conversational tone. She lifted her head to look at him once again, and this time she saw him wearing a wolfish grin on his face.

"If you would just move your hand a little more to the right… it would really make me happy," he told her.

She smacked his chest playfully in response. "Don't you ever get enough?" she asked him.

"Well, I am just a man," he replied. "And I have such a beautiful and sexy woman in bed with me. Do you really think I'm ever going to get enough of that?"

Winry smiled and kissed him, and Ed kissed her back without hesitation. "At the rate we're going," she murmured against his lips, "we'll end up having kids by the dozens before we're middle-aged."

Ed pulled back slightly and looked at her. "Well, I might have been able to cool off by now if we'd started going at it earlier, but that old hag wouldn't let me."

It was true: Ed had wanted to have sex with Winry at least a month before they had actually gotten married, and although Winry was also just as impatient as he was, her grandmother was having none of it. Pinako Rockbell had actually threatened to castrate him if he dared climb into bed with her granddaughter before they were wed, which was plenty enough to make him back off and wait, as much as he hated having to wait.

"Well, you know how she is," Winry pointed out.

"Old fashioned, you mean? Seriously, Win, you do realize that _I_ was the one getting all the crap for it? I swear, she's under this crazy impression that I'm some bad influence for you or something. Like I would have been corrupting you if I'd taken you any sooner." He rolled his eyes.

"She doesn't really see you that way, Ed, you know that. If she did, she would've banned you from the house a long time ago. And anyway, I highly doubt you would have "cooled off" by now, as you put it."

Ed didn't have anything to say to that, so another period of silence passed, in which both were thinking about their lives, and their relationship together. Finally, Ed spoke up.

"Winry?"

"Yeah?" Her face was buried in the side of his neck now, and her hand was buried in his hair, which was loose, rather than tied back like it normally was.

"Remember how Al and I fought over who got to marry you one day?"

"I thought you didn't remember that."

"I still don't, not really. But I was just thinking… in the end, I won that fight, didn't I? I mean, out of the two of us, I was the one who ended up marrying you. I even managed to surpass your standards, at least by a few inches." She could practically hear his smug grin in the last statement, and knew exactly what he was referring to.

"Are you seriously going to brag about _getting taller?"_ she asked, her voice filled with amusement—and a hint of exasperation.

""When I've spent most of my life enduring cracks about how short I was? Damn right I am."

"Whatever. You know that has nothing to do with why I agreed to marry you. I mean, you are the biggest dork I know, but that doesn't stop me from loving you as much as I do. And that's all that really matters to me."

"I know," he murmured. But he still couldn't quite believe the fact that, out of all the guys she could have chosen, that she picked _him._ He considered himself lucky, lucky that she loved him so much, enough that she was more than willing to spend the rest of her life with him. Ed was especially grateful on nights when his past came to haunt him, weighing him down with the guilt from the mistakes that he made, as well as guilt from the many things he couldn't prevent. In his darker moods, she comforted him, her very presence a balm like no other. She'd wrap her arms around him, would drive away his fear and worry with sweet caresses, and sometimes even bring him the kind of pleasure that drove him mad—anything to make him forget whatever had been plaguing him at the moment. It was times like those that prompted him to lift his eyes to the heavens and thank whoever it was that put such an amazing woman in his life, long before he ever could imagine needing her.

"Seriously," she told him, kissing him again. "I love you."

"Love you too, Win," he replied, kissing her back. Soon, it became heated between them, not a single doubt as to what they both wanted. As much as Winry joked about Ed not getting enough, she had to admit that she couldn't get enough, either.

Ed stopped to look at her, smirking. "So, is this one of the "better things" you can be doing with me than fixing my automail?"

"Shut up," she replied before pressing her lips to his once more.

* * *

 **Yes, I did just reference a previous oneshot in this oneshot. Why do you ask?**

 **Anyway, review! Review and see your OTP's deep in romantic fluffiness! Also, if any of you have an idea as to what I should write, please tell me! Preferable right now are the first-sentence prompts (especially considering how creative I could get with them).**

 **P.S. I finished the original anime (plus the movie, of course). And, like when I finished Brotherhood, all I could say is, OMG. The ending...**


	6. Fireflies

**Yes, I have yet another piece for you guys!**

 **To my lovely reviewers:**

 **BuggyNessThanks!**

 **sillybunny: Also thanks! I couldn't resist adding that part in there :)**

 **Alheli: I'm glad you liked it! I can't get enough of them, either. And I am definitely keeping your prompt in mind. Im not going to say when exactly it'll be posted on here. You'll just have to keep an eye out for it :)**

 **Anyway, this next piece was inspired by the song Fireflies by Owl City. If you guys have any suggestions for what I should write next, do please let me know. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own anything from FMA. I only wish I was that awesome...**

* * *

There was something about what Ed was experiencing now that made him think he was dreaming, though he wasn't entirely sure what it was.

He also had no clue how late at night it was, though if he had to guess, he'd say it was about midnight. Al had insisted on his coming outside, saying that Ed simply had to see something, though he didn't explain exactly what it was, only that it was absolutely amazing, whatever the hell that meant. If anything, Ed was only following Al just to appease him- after all, they were leaving Resembool rather early tomorrow in order to catch the train back to Central. Though he figured there was no harm in it, since it seemed to all be a dream, anyway.

When they got outside, a slight breeze helped chase away the stifling mid August heat. Winry was there, too, gazing soundlessly at the scene that Al had no doubt wanted him to see. Al himself had also stopped in his tracks, his gaze immediately locked on the breathtaking scene right in front of him. As there were no other outward indication of his younger brother's emotions, Ed had long since learned to be able to tell by way of the twin fires that represented his eyes, which lit up when he was happy or excited, dulled when he was upset and sad about something, and darkened and burned on the very rare occasion that Alphonse was actually angry. This time, however, the emotion Ed was seeing was awe- and he could easily understand why.

Fireflies. Hundreds of them- no, thousands of them. In fact, Ed felt as if he could go so far as to say there were millions of them. They swarmed the area not ten feet from the house, filling the late summer night with their bioluminescent bodies and living the very way that human beings did not- with the mindset that the bare essentials of continued existence, such as eating and reproducing, were all that really mattered in the world.

"I don't think I've ever seen so many in my life!" Al whispered in an enchanted voice. He bounded towards them, looking for all the world exactly like the excited little kid he was. Ed could almost imagine him in his original body, an enraptured look on his face, twirling and skipping like he was doing right now. The mere thought of it was enough to cause his lips to twist into a melancholy smile.

 _One of these days,_ he thought, _you'll have your body back. Even if it kills me, I won't ever let you down, not as long as I'm still alive._

"It's amazing, isn't it?" He had no clue when she had moved closer to him, and it made his cheeks heat up when he realized that she was less than a foot away from him. "All those little fireflies lighting up the night. It's like magic."

Ed just looked at her. "It's not magic, Win. It's a chemical reaction. They have this substance inside them that produces light when mixed with oxygen...what?"

"Do you really have to bring up science now?" She asked him, exasperated. "I mean, sometimes it doesn't matter how things work, only that they do, and it's... well, beautiful." When he didn't say anything, she just sighed and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the fireflies. "You dork. Come on."

He followed her, unable to think of anything else to do, and blushing like crazy over the simple fact that Winry was holding his hand. Jeez, what the hell was wrong with him? Yeah, sure, it probably didn't matter, considering how much it felt like he was dreaming, but still... It was just Winry, after all. There was absolutely no reason for him to be like this, or so he told himself.

When they got there, Al's eyes were filled with a child-like joy as he twirled around, catching fireflies and promptly letting them go, and watching as some crawled around on his armor. The fireflies looked even more amazing now that they were in the middle of the swarm, standing among a field of swirling, dancing little lights, far too numerous to count. Ed stretched out his flesh arm, and to his astonishment, a bunch of fireflies landed not just on his arm, but everywhere else, too- they crawled on his chest and arms, and on his face, and several had landed in his hair, as well. At that moment, he wasn't sure what to do about it- he was half tempted to move, to try and rid himself of the sensation of dozens of little bugs crawling on his skin- but at the same time, he couldn't not while Winry's gaze was locked onto him the way it was right now.

"They really seem to like you, Brother!" Al laughed.

Winry, however, didn't say anything- she was too captivated by the scene before her. His golden appearance made Ed breathtakingly gorgeous already, but with the way that the fireflies were adorning his hair and clinging to his chest, shoulders, and arms, it made him look...beautiful. Ethereal. If she didn't know any better, she would have said that he couldn't possibly be human, not with the way he looked right then.

The moment didn't last all that long, though- before she knew it, Ed was shaking the fireflies off him, causing them to scatter in every direction. "Well, this is really nice and all, but I'm going to have to get up early tomorrow morning-"

Winry grabbed his arm, effectively stopping him in his tracks. "Oh, come on," she insisted, an adorable pout on her lips. "It'll be fine. This is probably the last night you'll be spending here in a whole, anyway." Before she could stop herself, Winry did something that had surprised them both: she leaned forward and gave Ed a quick kiss on the cheek.

Ed stated at her dumbfoundedly in response. If the surrealness of it all hadn't been enough to convince him already, then this thin very much had, leaving absolutely no doubts in his head. _Definitely a dream,_ he thought, touching his cheek.

In that case, he guessed that there wasn't any harm in enjoying it while it lasted. He have her a quick smile. "All right," he said.

* * *

They left early the next morning, after saying their goodbyes (and Winry threatening Ed with her Wrench of Doom if he ever busted his automail again, of course). But just as they were about to leave, Winry stopped them, staring up at Al.

"Do you happen to have anything inside your armor?" She asked him. "Because I could've sworn I saw..."

"Huh?" Al lifted up his helmet, and her suspicions were confirmed when several fireflies flew out, glowing weakly under the morning sun. "Oh! They must have gotten inside there at some point last night..."

Ed wasn't really listening to his brother at that point- his jaw had nearly hit the floor when he saw the fireflies. So last night wasn't a dream. But that means... He looked at Winry as the realization dawned on him, his face so heated it felt like it was on fire.

Oh, _shit._

 _Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium..._

"What?" Winry asked him, noticing the way Ed was looking at her. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Her words managed to fluster him even more, if that were actually possible. _Boroncarbonnitrogenoxygenfluorineneonsodiummagnesiumaluminumsilicon-_

"You're such a dork, you know that?"

With that, the brothers left, Ed's face about as red as the coat he always wore as he tried desperately not to think about how Winry had actually kissed him last night.

It wasn't until they were halfway back to Central- and he'd recited the entire Periodic Table twice over- that Ed had finally managed to calm himself down.


	7. Short Rants and Double Meanings

**Yay! I'm finally updating after like, three months! And just in time for FMA day, too! Even if just barely. But my lack of updating this is because my main focus had become DMDC during that time (if you haven't checked it out yet, could you go do so? Pretty please? You don't have to necessarily like it, but I would like to know what you thought of it... *cough*cough*review*cough***

 **Anyway, in response to the lovely reviews that people have given me:**

 **SoulErrorArwitch: Yeah, so do I. It's such a dorky thing to do, and I just found it absolutely hilarious that he did that in the series, particularly because he was using it as a way to avoid thinking about the feelings he may or may not have had for a girl who was like, right there, which made it clear that said feelings obviously existed :) And yeah, it's so easy to forget that he's just a teenager with how badass he is, just as, with the way he's portrayed sometimes, it's so easy to forget that he is actually a freaking genius, and that he has a far better grasp of an extremely complex science than what most people could ever hope to obtain...**

 **BTW you also happened to mention another OTP of mine (though EdWin is the one I'm super focused on right now).**

 **Alheli: Lol I actually haven't seen fireflies before, either. I basically wrote based on the basic knowledge of fireflies that I already had and the song by Owl City. I can only imagine how seeing fireflies is really like, so it's a good thing I have a particularly good imagination :)**

 **I'm glad you liked the chapter! Dreamlike was obviously what I was aiming for, so I'm glad that you think I pulled it off! And yeah, he is. But then again, Ed's absolute dorkiness is why we love him in the first place!**

 **You're going to have to wait a little more to see your prompt on here, though. I have an idea as to where I want to go with it, but it's been kind of hard to finish, and all the other ideas in my head that are screaming to be written (you wouldn't _believe_ how many there are) make it hard to focus...**

 **whereismyymiind: Thanks!**

 **Shiloh Moon: Lol that's because you haven't really read anything of mine that wasn't angsty... Though I have no idea why I seem to have a tendency for writing angst lately. Seriously, it's like, I'm trying to figure out how to write the next chapter, and what should happen in it, and then BOOM. Angst. Sadness. Even if just a hint of it. And it just has to be written. Though don't worry: this chapter has none of that. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's right up your alley.**

 **And I'm glad you liked them! Honestly, when I read the bit on your profile about you not being a romantic, I thought it meant that you didn't really like sappy stuff or something like that, like you were one of those people who felt an urge to throw a tomato at the screen while watching The Notebook and want to throw up when they see anything particularly sappy or something like that. Just feeling a bit uncomfortable at anything particularly sexual in nature is understandable, though. I mean, all the romance I usually write is usually pure fluff, and while I don't have a problem reading more M rated stuff, I have yet to muster up the courage to actually write such a scene, let alone post it. But yeah, I do love me some romantic fluff.**

 **And uhh, sorry about getting that song stuck in your head again. I know from firsthand experience how annoying such songs can be...**

 **And I don't think I said I was no good at happy stuff. Just that I haven't had a whole bunch of ideas for full-length fics that are pure happy stuff (or, at least, not super angsty all the time).**

 **Anywho, I hope you guys like this one! Honestly, I was worried that the whole main idea for this fic (which was the whole double-meaning thing mentioned at the end) was kind of stupid... but then again, not the weirdest idea for a oneshot piece (and you guys just might get to see what I mean next chapter). I personally enjoyed writing this, though, particularly the short rant part. Seriously, it was possibly the most fun I've had with this piece, being creative as I possibly could with Ed's short ranting.**

 **This ended up being a bit longer than the other pieces. seriously, it turned out to be much more than I expected it to. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!**

* * *

Ed flopped himself on the all-too familiar couch in Mustang's office, waiting as patiently as someone who normally had no patience to begin with possibly could for his superior to get off the damn phone already.

Even after he'd finally gotten Al's body back, Ed had ended up staying a part of the military. Roy had made what Ed begrudgingly admitted was a rather impressive speech about how much good he could do if he stayed a State Alchemist, even if he couldn't do alchemy anymore (and without even saying it directly, the older man suggested finding a way to get _that_ back as well). Ed had ended up agreeing, and thought it only fitting that the person who originally convinced him to join the military was the very same person to convince him to stay years later, after he'd finally achieved the goal that was the reason he became a State Alchemist in the first place.

Of course, there were times where he rather regretted ever listening to Roy. Such as, oh, let's say, _every single time_ the man had made a crack about his size.

Like today, for example.

Ed had been sitting on the couch, arms folded tightly against his chest, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for Mustang to finish talking to whoever-the-hell-it-was (by the sound of it, it was probably one of the dickhead's many girlfriends). Sitting not two feet from him was Lieutenant Havoc, who un-retired (if that was even a word) after gaining back his mobility, and now had yet another cigarette clenched between his teeth, just as always.

Havoc raised an eyebrow, and pulled out another cigarette, offering it to him. "Want one?" he asked.

"Fuck no." Ed never really understood the appeal of smoking. To him, it just seemed like a nasty habit, one that couldn't possibly be good for the person doing it. Though he supposed that there must be _something_ enjoyable about it, seeing how many people tended to smoke.

Anyway, he continued waiting there for several minutes, growing steadily more irritated as Roy continued chatting amicably, showing absolutely no signs of finishing anytime soon.

"Ah, Lindsay, you're quite the feisty one, aren't you? Makes me just that much more eager for tonight." There was a pause, and Roy let out a loud, booming chuckle that almost echoed in the rather silent office, and it was all Ed could do to stop himself from going over there and permanently rearranging the man's face using nothing but his fists. _If he laughs like that ONE MORE TIME, I fucking swear to God I will-_

"Well, much as I would absolutely love to continue our lovely little chat here, unfortunately I have some things to attend to." Ed noticed that Mustang had looked straight at him as he said that, which surprised him a little. So the bastard _had_ noticed him there; Ed had seriously thought that wasn't the case at all. "Yes, of course they're rather important. I would never refuse further conversation with a wonderful woman such as yourself for something that wasn't of the utmost importance... I'll see you later tonight then, alright? ... Alright. Buh-bye!" And with that, the eight-minute torture session that Ed had experienced since stepping inside the office finally ended, and Roy turned to him, a small smirk on his lips.

"Fullmetal, what a surprise," he said smoothly. "And what, exactly, resulted in this little visit of yours?"

"Can it, ya bastard." If it had been anyone else, anyone who wasn't as tolerant as Roy and who hadn't had five years to get used to Ed's seemingly complete lack of respect (Ed, Roy knew, did respect him, but didn't show it in the most obvious of ways), the boy would have been flogged in a heartbeat, and perhaps demoted or even stripped of his military title. As it was, Mustang didn't so much as blink at the words so callously tossed in his face. "You know damn well why I'm here."

"Do I?" Mustang rose an ebony eyebrow at the younger man. "I must need a refresher, then."

Ed gritted his teeth, refraining from offering to deliver said refresher- with his fist, of course. "Okay, then Colonel-"

"General," Roy reminded him without missing a beat. He'd been promoted after the events of the Promised Day, and seemed to relish in taking every single opportunity he had to rub it in everyone's faces. He wasn't the only one who had gotten a promotion that day- Ed in particular was a Lieutenant Colonel now, which meant he was still just a couple ranks below Roy, as before, but unlike Roy, he never particularly cared about rank. Mustang, on the other hand, had enjoyed the bragging rights that came with the promotion if nothing else, and was still far too smug in correcting Ed's slipups (which were going to happen; after all, Roy had been a colonel since before Ed had even joined the military, and therefore Ed was so accustomed to referring to him as such that it was difficult to break the habit and call him something else). Ed swore all the power had already gone to the man's head.

" _General_ , whatever. I'm here to turn in my research for my yearly assessment. You know, so I don't get my license taken away." He put the folder he was carrying in the desk, using every last bit of effort he had to keep himself from losing it.

"Oh, right. That." Mustang's voice was clearly filled with mock surprise, which ticked Edward off just that much more. Seriously, it was times like these that made Ed think that the older man existed just for the sake of pissing him off, as if it were his life's goal or something. If it were, he was sure doing a hell of a good job at it. Still, Ed managed to refrain from snapping at Roy- he was nothing if not more mature, and had learned a little restraint. He was particularly proud of himself for not, despite having spent more than ten minutes having to put up with the jackass and his infuriating tendencies, completely losing the last bit of restraint he still had and exploding.

Yet.

"Yeah, that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other things I have to do-"

"Like that mechanic girlfriend of yours?" Mustang asked almost innocently, although what he'd just suggested was anything but. In response, Ed's face turned crimson, perfectly matching the shade of his old coat, though whether it was from embarrassment or anger, it wasn't clear. Most likely it was some combination of the two that resulted in the vermilion coloring that now stained the young alchemist's cheeks.

"The _hell_ \- You leave Winry outta this! That wasn't what I was referring to at all, you fucking _perv!"_

"Oh, it isn't? Oops, my mistake. Perhaps I should've known better." The general's smirk was taunting, as if he knew full well how close Ed was to losing it completely (he probably did), and was simply itching to see the Fullmetal Alchemist pushed over the edge (he probably was).

Just as much as Ed was itching to wipe that smirk off his face completely.

Ed's eyes narrowed dangerously, enough to make any average man piss himself out of sheer terror. "The hell's that supposed to mean?" he growled.

"Oh, nothing. Just that, in my experience, women usually don't go for smaller men. She might just be trying to let you off easy."

Ed had been stewing in his anger for a while now, and it had grown until it was about ready to burst, like a volcano ready to erupt. So, in all likelihood, even the most subtle, mildly insulting comment would've been plenty enough to set him off- and it made it all the worse that Mustang had so casually brushed up on what was a sore subject for the young alchemist for what was perhaps the billionth time, despite the fact that it so clearly, obviously wasn't true anymore and Ed, unable to help noticing it, had actually believed the short jokes were well and truly behind him now.

For three whole seconds, it was deathly silent- like the eerie calm before a storm. Then he exploded.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A TINY LITTLE BEANSPROUT DWARF MIDGET RUNT SO SMALL THAT A FLEA WOULD NEED A TINY, FLEA-SIZED MICROSCOPE JUST SO HE COULD BE SEEN?" Ed roared, so loudly that Roy was pretty sure the Xingese could clearly hear every word he'd said, even with the huge desert that lay in between their country and Amestris.

Mustang simply blinked at him, and to anyone watching the whole debacle, it would've been very clear that the man had, in fact, long since grown used to such rants from his subordinate. "Why, you, of course," he replied calmly, a heavy contrast from the earthquake-inducing yell that had occurred seconds ago. "Who else would I be referring to?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" he screeched. "ARE YOU SURE YOU ACTUALLY GOT YOUR SIGHT BACK, MUSTANG? OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST A COMPLETE DUMBASS WITH A FUCKING DEATH WISH! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO CALL ME A DIMINUTIVE SHRUNKEN HALF-PINT MIDGET FLEA BABY SO MINISCULE THAT HE CAN BARELY BE ACKNOWLEDGED AS EVEN EXISTING? I'VE ACTUALLY GROWN A FEW DAMN INCHES IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED ALREADY, YOU JACKASS PERVERTED EXCUSE FOR A COLONEL! FUCK, I'M ALMOST AS TALL AS _YOU_ ARE, YA BASTARD!"

As Ed stood there, heaving from the effort of his ranting (he really DID have lungs of steel, as anyone who'd met him can attest to; however, such lungs did, in fact, require a massive amount of energy to be used at full potential), Mustang just looked at him, the rant having hardly fazed him- except for one little detail (no pun intended, of course).

"Don't you mean... _General?"_ Roy reminded him.

Ed let out a mighty scream of frustration and stormed out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him with such force that it was practically a miracle that the door didn't instantly shatter into a million pieces. He wasn't sure where he was going, but Ed didn't particularly care, either, just so long it was far, far away from the man who, if it weren't for the risk of getting kicked out of the military and perhaps even worse, he would have already beat the shit out of on Day One.

Roy's office, meanwhile, was once again silent, and there was a feeling in the air akin to the one that lingered after a tornado had just rolled through (without any of the destruction, thankfully). Lieutenant Havoc, who had been quietly watching the entire time, puffing away on his cigarette while doing so, was ready to get his business with the General done and over with- but then he found that he couldn't for the life of him remember why the hell he was here in the first place.

"Well,"Roy said cheerfully. "That seemed to go right over his head, didn't it? Not that I needed to aim very high in the first place."

"The kid's got a point, though," Havoc stated. "He really is almost as tall as you are right now. Hell, he probably expected to get nothing _but_ comments on how much he's grown taller and stuff."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Haven't you ever considered his temper? Or how he's always a rebellious pain in the ass? With the way he acts, I suspect it's his way of trying to make up for his obvious lack in the size department." Mustang's tone hinted at something else, though, and it took a second for Havoc to get it. Once he did, he figured that it was probably a good thing that Ed seemed to completely miss it, as he'd been pissed off enough thinking that Roy was just calling him short- and any man would've been insulted by the other meaning to his words.

"Mustang, you're terrible," Havoc declared.

* * *

 **Review! And please do give me prompts to write about! Preferably the first-sentence prompts. And happy FMA Day!**


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